Love me until the end
by The problems of shipping
Summary: (Previously 'Love me again') Clary and Jace used to be very close for step siblings, but after Jace moves away for unexplainable reasons, they slowly drift apart. But when tragedy strikes and it forces Jace to come back, will they ever be the same? AU. Mostly Clace. Rating might change.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea has just been going through my head this week so today I decided to do something about it:)**

**Summary: Clary used to be very close with her stepbrother Jace, but after a series of incidents they have drifted apart. But when tragedy strikes they're pushed in the same direction- each other. Will they get back what they once had?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMI, (kind of depressing), all rights to Cassandra Clare.**

**Chapter 1: The beginning**

Clarissa Fray's earliest memory was of the day she met her step brother. The weather had been horrible. It had been raining the whole morning and a three year old Clary was laying on the floor in her room. Color pencils were spread all over the floor, each brightening up the boring wooden floor.

Clary was in deep concentration, trying to make the flower she was drawing look more like a flower than a couple of circles crossing each other. Her fiery red hair falling down in her green esmerald eyes. Clary found this very annoying and repeatedly tried to blow it away from her sigh.

She didn't notice her mother Jocelyn entering the room.

"Clary darling, Stephen's here and there's someone I want you too meet." Jocelyn was standing in the doorway and looking at her daughter with pure adoration as she spoke. Even though Clary was in deep consentration, she jumped up at the sight of her mother, who so easily walked over and picked her up in her arms. Clary wrapped her arms safely around her mothers neck, pulling herself closer to her.

"Did Stephan bring me something?," Clary asked innocently.

Stephen was her mothers _friend_ and Clary actually liked him. She wasn't sure if she liked it when she saw him cuddling in the kitchen. She was _her_ mom after all. But he did have some good things about him. One time he had even bought her a box full of paint and pencils. Because Clary was three, it didn't bother her that her love was clearly being bought. She was the one who got pencils.

"Actually, yes. He did bring something and I want you to meet him." Her mothers voice was soft. _Him? _Clary thought to herself. _Maybe she was getting a puppy? _She really wanted one and she had asked for one earlier this morning, but her mother had said no. She hated it when she said no. No was a mean word.

Clary was surprised when she saw what it was Stephan had brought. Stephen usually came alone. That day he stood there, his hair a blonde gold color like normal, his eyes blue, and most definitely not alone.

Clary's eyes went almost instantly to the boy standing next to Stephan. The boy was obviously his son. His golden blonde hair, the shape of his face, even his eyelashes were the same as his fathers, just not the eyes. The boys eyes were a bright amber. His eyes are pretty, Clary had though as her mother had sat her down on the floor, right in front of the boy.

The boy was looking at her, his amber eyes uncertain. Clary was uncertain herself. Was she supposed to say something?

Maybe she should say her name? Her mother had always told her that telling your name was a good way to make friends.

"Clary", she said simply, her eyes never leaving the young boy in front of her.

The boy smiled, showing almost all of his teeth. Clary couldn't help but smile back.

"Jace," the boy responded proudly. "Do you want to go play?" Jace's voice was full of excitement. Clary decided she liked this boy.

Clary didn't hesitate before answering 'yes' and running off, knowing very well he would chase her. She had no idea what she had just gotten herself into. And who she had just met.

...

**Okay, I know it's short, but the next chapters will definitely be longer..**

**Should I keep writing this? What did you think?**

**R&amp;R:)**

**~Jess**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reviews!:)**

**I just wanted to say that I didn't bother to read the last chapter before I posted it and now that I have read it, it might have sounded abut perverted at some part. This was not my intention. I didn't get any comments on it so I guess I'm the only one who noticed.. (That makes me a perv, doesn't it?) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMI, all rights to Cassandra Clare.**

**Chapter 2- Goodbye freaking sucks**

**Jace: 13**

**Clary: 12**

"I wish you lived here all the time." Clary exclaimed as she threw herself on her bed.

A normal twelve year old might have been embarrassed over a boy seeing her room. Specially with all of the stuffed animals, paintings, drawings, socks (those always seemed to be on the floor) and pink sheets Clary had in hers. But this was different. Jace was different.

Clary twirled one of her loose curls around her finger as Jace sat down on the bed too.

"Yeah, but I have to live at my mom's as well. I can't just live here. You know that."

"I do," Clary admitted, "but I also miss my best friend when he's not here." Clary saw Jace smile down at his hands as she spoke.

"Well you can tell your best friend he misses you when he's not here too."

Clary felt her hart beet speed up. She wondered why that always happened with Jace? Why did he make her feel like this? And what exactly was she feeling? Clary suspected it was love, he was her brother after all. Or step brother.

"If you were my real brother you would have been here all the time though," Clary said after awhile.

She had found herself staring at the ceiling, but it was getting boring so she looked over at Jace instead. He was sitting at the end of her bed, his back against the wall. Clary had to admit that she was a bit jealous that he was so beautiful and she wasn't.

Jace always told her she was beautiful though. She wondered if he meant it.

"I _am_ your brother." Jace turned his eyes on her and gave her a look. Clary sent him a knowing look back.

"I _know_ that, but I mean like a real brother. Like if we had the same mom and dad," Clary explained.

"I don't think I would want that." he answered simply, crunching his nose at the thought. Clary could help but find it cute when he did that. Wait.._he didn't want to be her brother?_

"You..you don't?" Clary asked, looking over at Jace.

"Nope," he answered cheerfully. _Cheerfully?_

"Why?," Clary retreated.

Jace raised his hands and placed them behind his head while closing his eyes.

"I have no idea." _Okay. He had no idea. Well isn't that just great._

"Okay then," Clary said bitterly.

Silence. It wasn't one of those good silences either. It was just plain awkward.

"I love you Clary."

"Okay."

Silence. _Again._

"Do you love me?," Jace asked teasingly.

Clary couldn't help but smile at the question.

"More than chocolate," she answered and rolled over so her head was now in Jace's lap. Clary smiled softly at her step brother, who had closed his eyes, before letting her own flutter close.

...

**Jace: 16**

**Clary: 15**

"Clary, we need to talk." Clary frowned. That didn't sound good. It sounded like one of those cliche teenage breakups.

"Are you breaking up with me, Jace?" Clary made a fake puppy face. Jace didn't seem to find it funny as he just sat down by the dinner table with an odd look on his face.

"This is not the time Clary," Jace said sternly. Clary's eyes widened for a second. When did he become so serious? _This is bad_, Clary thought nervously.

"Mom's moving."

Clary's mind were racing._ His mother moving? Why? Would she live far away? How would he see her? When was she moving?_

"She is moving to California in a week. I know it's soon, but I didn't know how to tell you and I.." Jace didn't seem to know what to say.

"I will only be gone for about a year, and then I'll be back. Promise."

It was about then realization came falling in on Clary._ He was going with her. _

"Please. If you just.." Clary started, but was cut off by Jace who had scooted his chair closer to hers. His hand were cupping her chin so she had to look at him. Clary thought that his golden eyes might have darkened for a second, but it was probably only imagination.

"I need to do this Clary."

Clary couldn't help the tear that was making its way down her cheek. She didn't know how she would make it without him. He didn't understand how much she needed him, and now he was going away.

"No, don't cry. Please Clary," Jace whispered as he got up and pulled Clary into a hug. Clary nuzzled her face into his chest as she sobbed, while Jace stroked her hair and whispered that 'everything was going to be okay' into her hair.

They stood like this for awhile, until Jace decided to ruin the moment.

"I love you Clare bear." Clary couldn't help but laugh at him. She hated that nickname more than anything. Even more than Jace hated ducks, which was a hell of a lot of hate.

"If you say that again I might just have to kill you." Clary tried to say it with her most serious tone. Jace snickered at her.

"Bring it on, little sister."

"Oh I will big brother."

...

That week had gone faster than Clary had hoped it would. She never wanted it to be over. She wanted it to last forever, so Jace would never leave her, but the day had to come. And it came alright.

Clary stood with her hands in the pockets of her hoody and her eyes on her shoes as Jace said goodbye to his father and to her mother. Clary didn't want to say goodbye. She had always hated goodbyes. They freaking sucked.

"Clary." her mothers voice was loud enough to rise over all of the noise at the airport. _Airport_, Clary thought bitterly. Now she was going to hate that word too.

"Yes, mom?," Clary asked, her voice plain of emotion.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to Jace?"

Clary though about this for awhile. Would she please her mother and give in to saying that _horrible_ word, or not? She liked that second one.

"No," she answered before she more or less threw herself at Jace, who more than willingly caught her. He held her body tightly against him and she held him just as tight- never wanting to let go. Of course they had to at some point, but it felt as if a part of her was being ripped of as she felt his arms letting go of her. Why did he have to let go?

Clary never wanted to cry again. She had cried too much this week, but still her cheeks were wet. Clary also felt a bit annoyed at the weird smiles Jocelyn and Stephan sent each other after Jace and Clary broke apart. Like they knew some secret she didn't. Clary chose to ignore this and rather focus on jace, who was now had begun walking away from them.

Jace only turned once. His eyes going directly to Clary's. He smiled that smile of his and mouthed something from across the room. Her mother might not have seen it. And Stephan definitely hadn't seen it- since he was way busy looking at her mother, but Clary had seen it.

She had seen how his mouth had shaped the words she had heard him say so many times, but still meant the world to her. Clary had smiled and mouthed back 'love you too' before he had turned, and walked away.

_Clary might have seen Jace's words as if they had been written in the stars, but she never noticed the way he looked at her. The same way you look at someone you love. _

_Clary always wanted someone to look at her the way Stephan looked at her mother. What she didn't know was that somebody already did, and she was looking right back at him the same way._

**Next chapter will be the 'beginning' of the story. This was just some kind of prologue thingy..:)**

**What did you guys think so far?:)**

**~Jess**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! Thank you so much for reviews, they make me write faster:)**

**So here is:**

**Chapter three**

One year later

"Simon. Please come out?," Clary asked for what seemed to be the hundred time.

Clary had been trying to get her best friend to come out of the dressing room for about ten minutes. It wasn't going well.

"I would rather die of demon pox," Simon responded.

"Demon pox? Seriously Simon?"

"It's a real thing. Look it up." Clary rolled her eyes and without asking, opened up the door separating herself from Simon. She had to keep herself form laughing when she saw him sitting on the floor, his hands on his knees and the black leather jacket she had picked out for him crumbled in the corner.

Clary sighed. "Did you even try it on?"

"I don't have to try it on. You know I will look stupid anyway," Simon protested while giving the leather jacket and ugly look.

Clary was getting tired of this. This was even worse than getting him into the dressing room. She was determined on getting him to try the jacket on so she decided to do it the hard way.

"Try. It. On," Clary demanded. She was surprised by how serious she sounded. She liked this side of herself. And when she saw the look on Simon's face as he grabbed the leather jacked and pulled it on, she made a mental note of using it more often.

Simon stood up, looking extremely uncomfortable in the jacket. Clary smiled, he actually looked good. Not that he didn't look good or anything usually, but he looked god damn hot in that jacket. And she was not saying that just because he was her bestfriend.

She was also very happy with the fact that he now had started wearing contacts instead of glasses. Clary though he looked better without them, even thought she secretly liked his glasses.

"You look good, Si."

"Really, because I feel like a rat", Simon said eyeing me.

"Rat?," Clary asked and mentally raised an eyebrow. Simon stared at his reflection in the mirror and sighed.

"I can't describe it. It's just how I feel right now." Clary snickered. "Okaaay."

After standing like this for about two minutes, Clary asked if was going to buy the jacket and Simon answered 'hell no'. Clary desided it was a lost cause and gave in.

...

On the way home Clary thought about the day she had met Simon. He had moved into one of the houses down the street from her about two weeks after Jace had left for California. She had been a mess at the time, but after she had met Simon things had taken a turn for the better. He might be a complete nerd and spent way too much time playing D&amp;D (dungeons and dragons), but he was _her_ nerd and she loved him.

Clary did miss Jace, of god did she miss him, but she had to admit having Simon there made her miss him.._less_. She hadn't replaced him or anything, she loved both of them. She talked to Jace through e-mail and late phone calls, but he was busy- very very often. He told her it was soccer practice, but she knew it was because of a girl. Clary felt a painful not taking place in her stomach just thinking about it.

Clary ignored her thoughts and focused on Simon who was walking beside her. His curly hair was moist from the rain and his brown eyes were focused on the road.

"Aren't your brother coming home soon?," Simon suddenly asked.

"Step brother," Clary corrected him. "And I don't know to be honest. Every time I bring it up to mom or Stephan they just change the subject. It's incredibly annoying."

Simon made a strange face and Clary frowned in confusion.

"What?," she asked.

"Nothing." Simon stayed silent before continuing,"It's just that, your always going around saying he is your brother and you are just as much siblings as me and Rebecca, and just now you corrected me saying that he is not your brother... It's confusing, that's all."

Clary looked down at her feet as she walked. She hadn't noticed correcting him. And he was right too, she always went around saying Jace was her bother, so why change now? Clary shook her head, this was stupid.

"It's not that important Simon," Clary mumbled down at her feet. She wasn't sure Simon had even heard her through the rain.

Clary shivered. She hadn't even noticed she was cold until now. Her jeans were soaked and her long red hair sticked to her face and neck.

It was time to get home.

...

When Clary got to her house, she waved goodbye to Simon and hurried trough the door, slamming it shut. She jumped at the sound and swore a bit louder than she wanted to. She had to stop doing that.

"Clary?," she heard Stephan call from the kitchen. He didn't sound good, not angry, but something was definitely wrong.

"Yeah?," she answered as she threw off her jacket and fumbled out of her shoes. Clary let out a sight as she looked down at her wet socks. She took them off and walked out into the hallway.

"I need to talk to you," Stephan said as she came into the kitchen.

The sight made her catch her breath. Stephan was sitting by the dining table, his blonde hair was ruffled and there was dark circles under his eyes. His golden eyes were red and puffy, it was clear that he had been crying. _He never cries_, Clary though.

Clary was breathing hard._ What the hell was going on?_

Stephan looked at her sadly. "Jace is coming home."

_Jace? Why would he be sad about Jace coming home?_

"Why?," Clary asked. He wasn't just coming home suddenly for no reason. He was at least supposed to be with his mother for another month. Clary didn't know where this was going, but it was bad. _Really_ bad.

Stephan breathed in a sharply breath before exhaling. He looked away, not wanting to meet her gaze._ He doesn't want to say what's wrong_, Clary realized.!

Clary's hart was beeting so fast she didn't think she could hear anything else than her hart beet. But Clary heard Stephan's next words very clear, too clear, and if it was even possible her hart started beeting faster.

"Something terrible has happened."_ Oh god._

**Okay, so I have a feeling people can tell what's happening.. It isn't a big secret or anything.. This is supposed to happen early in the story just so you know.. The real thing is soon to begin..:)**

**Review?;)**

**-Jess**


	4. Chapter 4

**It's been awhile. I know, but I've had a lot of thing happening in my life the last year.. I've been depressed and struggled with ED. So yeah.**

**I've also decided to take a bit of a new turn in this story. **

Jace pov.

The hardest thing Jace had ever done was leave his family. At first he thought it was for the best. That it was better this way. He had thought about it for months, but he had finally come to the conclusion that it was best if he just left.

He hadn't lied about spending time with his mother, but he was the one who had asked her if they could move.

She had understood.

Clary was the only one who didn't know what was going on. Who knew that he wasn't going back.

No matter how much he wanted too. _Needed_ too.

_Needed her._

-:-:-:-

In the first few weeks Clary had called him every night, but after she had gotten that he was too 'busy' to talk to her she had stopped, only sending an email or two a month, which he would lazily respond to with a short message.

He was pretty sure she thought it was because of a girl.

It was heartbreaking. Jace never thought he could hate himself _this_ much. He kept telling himself it was for the best. That he was doing this for _her_, but he didn't know how much more he could take. He couldn't remember her smell anymore. Somehow that was the most devastating thing ever.

He used to have a picture of them on his nightstand, but he couldn't look at it anymore. It was too painful.

He was also very annoyed over his thoughts. They were becoming extremely girlish. Way too emotional. It was scary as hell.

-:-:-:-

"Hello?" Jace asked, his shoulder holding his phone up while his hands was busy making pancakes. He had to stop making pancakes all the time. He was on the highway to fatness.

The thought sent chills down his back.

"Jace, it's Stephan."

He dropped the phone.

_Why in hell was his dad calling?_

After his decision a year earlier he though his father didn't want anything to do with him.

"Shit," Jace muttered while quickly picking it up and putting it to his ear. "Hi dad."

There was a silence on the phone.

"You have to come home Jace."

_Oh no. No no no._ He couldn't. That would ruin _everything._

"_Why?"_

There was another silence.

"_Dad."_

"It's Jocelyn. There was an accident.." His father took a deep breath trough the phone. "She didn't make it."

Jace was take aback. This could not be happening. This was _too_ much.

Clary had not just lost her mother. He had not just lost his stepmom. His father had not just lost the love of his life.

_They can't lose her too._

_Clary_ can't lose her too.

Clary. _Only_ _her_ name made his hart jump, and fill his head with memories of red, green, laughter and love.

"I'll be there tomorrow. Bye dad."

Jace didn't give his father time to answer before hanging up and smashing his phone down at the counter.

Jace thought he might have heard it break. He wasn't sure, didn't care either.

His eyes stung. _You're not going to cry. You're not going to cry._

Jace realized as he stood there, his hands clenched tightly and trying his hardest not to cry that he was only certain at four things in that moment.

His sister needed him.

He sure as hell needed her.

He was coming home.

And Clary could _not_ under any circumstances, find out the _real_ reason he left. That would only destroy them both.

**Review?**

**-Jess**


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